Here We Go - Day 8 & 9 - July 17 & 18

Friday 

Start out Friday morning and I couldn't sleep very well so I woke up tired.

I had my doctors appointment Friday morning for an ultrasound and bloodwork again.  During the ultrasound, she found 21 growing follicles and my estrodiol level was about 960.  If you aren't familiar with IVF...that means that I have 21 sacs of fluid in my ovaries that contain eggs.  Normal people (wish we were normal) produce one egg per month.  The injection drugs I'm on are called stimulants that make my ovaries produce lots of eggs for this process.  So each follicle contains an egg and its growing.  Ideally, we want them to be 18mm which would indicate a mature egg that is ready to be collected and fertilized. So right now, I have 21 potential eggs to be fertilized.  Which is a good thing!  IVF is a numbers game because not all eggs will be mature, not all will fertilize, not all embryos will last the 5 day incubation period before implantation - so the more you have, the better the chances that you end up pregnant!  So yay!  I continue on my current protocol of the menopur (which helps the eggs grow and mature) and centrotide (which prevents ovulation, so the eggs stay in the ovaries until they are collected).

Right now the game plan is to do another ultrasound/bloodwork on Monday in Athens, then probably take the trigger HCG shot (which causes the final maturation of the egg) and then egg collection 36 hours later on Wednesday and then we let them grow for 5 days! Hopefully, things keep according to plan.

After my doctors appointment on Monday, I went to lunch with my teacher buddies. The biomed teachers got together to introduce the new Freshmen Center teacher to the rest of the group.  We had a good time with good conversation!  It just reinforced how excited I am for this school year!!!!

I went home and I wasn't feeling so hot.  I was nauseous, cramping and super tired.  I really didn't' sleep well the night before, so a nap was in order.  Brian got home and we went and did some last minute shopping.  I was excited to find some dresses to wear while we are there because I feel really bloated from all 21 follicles growing and so comfy clothes sounded like a much better idea than jeans.  So we found some clothes and got some last minute things we were missing.  It was nice to just have an evening together.  I did have to do my centrotide shot in the Bass Pro bathroom...that was interesting.  Then we went home so I could do my menopur shot really quick and then head back out. We got home for the night at about 11 and then stayed up till 3 finishing packing and laundry.   These aren't from last nights shots - but I forgot to post them a few days ago...here is what shot time looks like!  I told Brian I'm getting pretty great at using syringes and he replied with....hmmm..not sure if thats a good thing!


Saturday 

We woke up this morning and Brian started us out right with cinnamon rolls. YUM.  We did the last minute things and then Mom and Dad showed up to take us to the airport.  We got an email that our flight had been delayed.  The original plan was to go from Kansas City to Minniapolis (I asked Brian how to spell that...he said "umm...a lot of nnnn's and an apolis".  Helpful)  then to Amsterdam and finally to Athens.  We were supposed to arrive tomorrow (sunday at 1-ish).

Well flight out of KC delayed enough that we would miss the flight to Amsterdam - so that re-routed our entire itinerary.

New plan, leave KC, go to Atlanta, to Paris then to Athens and we would arrive in Athens at about 2pm.  Okay, not too much different - sounds fine to us.  We were super happy when my checked bag came in at 49 lbs when there is a 50 lbs limit!!!  That was super exciting!!!!  Especially since I packed the whole thing and Brian used to not let me pack because I didn't do it right!  Go me.


This is us before we board for Atlanta.


So we get on the plane and we got assigned the emergency exit spot...look at all this leg room!!! Yeah!!!!


We get over Atlanta and there is bad weather.  We  can't land.  So we hover over the city for 40 minutes.  Enough to be annoying and make us miss our flight to Paris.  So we have to go to the Delta line to get re-routed yet again.  We stand in line for 30 minutes.  We finally get to a lady and she says she can't do international flight changes.  We have to use the phones.

Well that information would have been nice to know BEFORE we stood in line.  So I get on the phone.  And I'm on hold for another 30 minutes.  As she is telling me the new plan, she hits a wrong button and hangs up on me.  There is no redial option.  BAH!

So we give up on the phones and go to the international desk.  We stand in line again.  Finally we have two options.

1 - arrive in Athens at 11:10 pm on sunday
2 - arrive in Athens at 2pm on Monday

Well each has downfalls.  We really didn't want to get there late in Athens because that's when the protesting is occuring.  Ruth and her husband are picking us up and we didn't want them to have to drive up there.  But with option 2, we might miss my scan/blood work apt on Monday and thats not good either!  So since it was 2AM in Athens when we had to make these choices and couldn't call - we went with option 1.

So now we are sitting in Atlanta...waiting for our midnight flight.


A good thing is that we took Cassie's advice and we are getting a small souvenier for the baby at each stop, and so this is the first one from Atlanta.



One thing we have learned in Atlanta is that neither one of us knows how to walk.  I swear, every 10 steps one of us is tripping over our feet.  I think the airport has it out for us.  For now, we will sit and watch a movie until we get to board our flight.

Here's to a safe flight and hopefully no more delays!!!!!!  Athens, here we come...eventually. :)

Too Much - Day 7 - July 16

If you know me, you know that I am normally a pretty happy person.  I'm very organized and I like to be on top of everything.  So far through this IVF process, I've done a pretty good job of staying positive and organized...

But today I'm struggling.

For the most part, IVF abroad has been pretty smooth sailing.  There have been a few hurdles along the way...but nothing I couldn't handle.  It looked a little like this.

After the last 24 hours, it looks more like this. 

The first issue - reaction to medicine.  

I did the centrotide and menopur injection last night and both were a lot more liquid to inject than I had been doing with the follitism.  So that was painful, then my abdominal area was really sore.  I felt nauseous and really swollen.  There isn't really a different way to explain it.  Just really uncomfortable.  That continues all night and still today.  So I'm dreading my injection tonight.  Ugh.  

Next issue - money. 

The way the IVF abroad program works is that you pay for the clinic when you start the process (so when you start injections).  To pay, you have to transfer money to an international exchange company and then they transfer it from US dollars to Euros and send it to the clinic.  Well the company took longer to get me the official log in info and then the transfer takes 2 days to complete.  I finally log in this morning and they are having technical difficulties and so it takes a few hours to finally get it set uphat to do.  I go in, we start the process and then the Assistant Manager comes out and tells me that the bank will not transfer money to Greece because of their current economic status.  At all.  No money transfer will happen from wiring money.  

So I have to call Ruth and make sure its okay that I send money to the exchange company via credit card, even though I have to pay a larger fee and it takes longer to process on their end.  She says that's fine and they will just have to get over the fact it will take longer for them to get their money.  While I'm on the phone with her, I find out another problem. 

Next problem - lack of meds 

I asked her about the centrotide, because I have two doses left.  One for tonight, one for Friday.  She is confused and said no, I should have gotten 5 doses of it to last me until Sunday night.  Nope.  So she checks the prescription she sent and sure enough, it only had listed 3 doses instead of 5.  It was a simple mistake..but crap.  Now I need at least two more and we leave on Saturday.  So she quickly sends a new prescription for 3 more vials to our doc here (Brandi).  I also call and email Brandi to make sure she got them...no reply.

I call Walgreens Specialty Pharmacy...they can get me the meds by tomorrow if the whole thing is processed by 6:30 tonight.  While I'm on the phone, I realize that its Thursday.  Brandi is off work on Thursday and Karen is on vacation. Well crap.  I need someone to enter in that prescription!  

So I call the main office and ask if anyone there can enter the prescription and she said that she would transfer me to the triage nurse, and as soon as she answers, I get an email from Brandi saying she just send in the script!  Whew!  One bullet dodged.  Sorry triage nurse, guess I don't need you after all.  

I give Walgreens a bit to process, call to make sure they have it...and they do!  It's being processed now and they will call me with payment info and delivery info soon.  

Next problem - money

The three new vials of centrotide will cost $580.  So now we have racked up more medication costs.  

Initial cost for meds from the UK: $1200 (with FDA currently)

Cost for 2nd set of meds from US: $2200

Cost of follitism because meds didn't show up on saturday: $536

Cost of more centrotide: $580 

That's a grand total of $4516 dollars on meds.  When we had budgeted to spend $1500.  Its just frustrating beyond words.  The FDA is still holding the original meds from the UK and no release date to be given.  If you've read the other blogs, you know that my parents and Brian's parents are helping us pay for this whole process.  I am beyond grateful that they are willing to help but asking for more money over and over is awful.  I know we will pay them back and eventually we will have paid for this whole process ourselves but this just sucks.  Its just one thing after another.  The main reason we were going over there is because it was so much cheaper.  Now we are spending the same amount we would have spent here. 

Next problem - name on my medications

I've also had to be on the phone with Walgreens today about the name on my prescriptions.  They have my name spelled wrong.  They spell it Rachelle instead of Rachell.  So it doesn't match my ID.  I have a letter from them explaining their error, and will get an official letter on letterhead tomorrow via FedEx...but I called TSA to check how that will effect bringing them on the plane.  They said they won't have an issue - but customs might.  I called customs and all I get is a busy signal.  Phone won't even go through.  I'll keep trying.  

Final problem - the issues in Greece

If you've looked at the news, you know that Greece is not in the best state right now.  We have been talking to Ruth about it and she said we would hardly notice while we were there.  We are staying in her apartment, so will be 40 minutes outside of Athens where all the chaos is occurring.  But the clinic is in Athens and we will have to go there at least every other day for scans and blood work.  It's been peaceful protests but as of last night there were petrol bombs and teargas used.  Obviously there is nothing we could do to change this, but good God.  Its just one more thing to worry about.  I know family is worried about it and so are we - but we are so vested now that there isn't much else to do.  

This is a really long way of saying that today is a bad day.  This is just too freaking hard and too much to deal with.  

Brian sent me some Cool Runnings motivation and it helps...but I just need the rest of this process to be smoother.  I'm done with all these dang hurdles.  It should not be this hard to get pregnant.  Those of you who it happens naturally for, don't ever take advantage of it.  Pregnancy might suck, the cost of having a kid might suck, but on the bright side, at least all you had to do was have sex to get there.  

Even though I'm frustrated, I can't help but look at this picture and only see the Nike icon.  "Just do it."  So that's what we will do.  Just. Do. It. and hope for the best. 

Family Time - Day 4, 5 & 6 - July 13-15

So the post everyday didn't happen...but here is what I've been up to..

Monday

Today was all about the money!  I slept in, got around and then headed to Johnathan and Ashley's place.  They bank at Commerce bank and were able to exchange our money for euros for us.  Yay Foreign money!  As Ashley would say, its so pretty!

We hung out at their place and we played with the kiddos.  Miles was actually awake most of the day!  And he is one wiggly kid!

That evening, my parents and Brian joined us for dinner.  The boys grilled out and we hung out in the air conditioning.  The joke of the night was the yellow watermelon.  Mom and Dad were bringing over the meat/buns and Ash and I were in charge of sides.  So we went to Price Chopper and wanted watermelon.  The sign said "seedless yellow watermelon."  Well we really didn't think it was actually yellow.

Oh no, it was yellow.  It tasted exactly like regular watermelon, it was just yellow! Weird.  But we were the butt of all the jokes the rest of the night because we didn't think the sign meant it would actually be yellow!

I was able to give the kiddos their souvenirs from my time in California at Universal Studios.  River got a Sully jacket and she was freaking adorable in it!

We stayed up late watching Jupiter Ascending...and it was okay.  Meh.

My shot of follitism went fine.  The headache is getting more intense and hurts.  Just trying to think bigger picture, it will be worth it.

Tuesday

Tuesday was all about cleaning!  I detail cleaned the bathrooms in the house...literally detail cleaned.  With a toothbrush and all! Whew!  It was exhausting.  I cleaned up the rest of my house and tried to work on my stats project that is due on friday - but I still don't have all the data I need.  EEK!  Starting to get a bit freaked out about that one.  I also gave the puppies a bath!  Jack was normal, Ally at the soap.  Pretty much normal for them!  They were running laps after and I tried to get pictures, but Ally moves too fast to be photogenic!

On the positive note, the meds we ordered from the US (the 2nd set, since the first set are still stuck with the FDA) arrived!  Yay meds!

Tuesday evening, I went down to the Title Boxing Club in Belton with Mom and Ashley to go to their Ladies Night Out Event!  We did a class, got some food and a gift bag.  The best part was the massage afterwards!  AHHHH!  Glorious.

Then we went back to Mom & Dads and hung out.  When I box, I don't wear shoes so that I can turn my feet easier and so by the end of a class, my feet turn black from the rubber mats.  Well River kept seeing them and would say "UCK!"  So I told her to fix it...she goes into the kitchen, grabs a dish towel and starts cleaning my feet.  It was hilarious!!!

Then she saw me put my bandaid on after I did my injection and she said "owe!"  The rest of the night she would raise up my shirt, point to my bandaid and say "owe!"  She is stinking cute.  Love that kid!!  

Came home and watched a few episodes of The Walking Dead.

Wednesday

Scan day!  Had to wake up early this morning, but it was worth it because its Scan day! Doc in Greece wanted me to have a scan and bloodwork done today.  Yay needles!  Good thing needles don't bother me or this whole process would be a lot worse!

The results were...

Endometrium 7mm
Right ovary follicles: 12mm, 11mm, 10mm, 13mmLeft ovary follicles: 17mm, 11mm, 10mm, 13mm, 9mm, 14mm, 12mm, 13mm 

Estradiol today on July 15,  is 432 pg/mL

After hearing that, the doc in Greece wants me to do Centrotide at 7 tonight (so I better hurry up and finish this **just did it - that was a lot of meds to inject!**) and then Menopur at 8pm.

After the doc appointment, Mom and I did some window shopping and she helped me run a few errands.  We went to Jason's Deli for lunch and I made the most perfect ice cream cone!  So pretty.  I was very proud of myself. :)

We did run into another problem with the meds.  (Of course - I swear, meds will be the death of me)  Walgreens has my name spelt wrong - they have Rachelle instead of Rachell.  Well, when I told them this a year ago, it was no big deal because they knew it was me.  Well - it is a big deal with I go to fly with them on Saturday.  The prescription won't match my ID.  Freaking perfect.  So I had to call them and they can't send new labels for security purposes, but they are sending me a letter explaining that they are my meds and such.  Bah!  Just one more hurdle. I'm going to call the airport tomorrow and make sure we will be okay.

Mom and I went back to her place and I took a nap.   Then we headed to Title to get a workout in.  My stomach started cramping at the end, so I backed off a bit.  I did want to workout though because when I worked out last night, I didn't get my headache after meds. So we thought the workout probably helped.  I hope it does the same tonight!

Now I'm home.  Brian is cooking dinner and its time for shots!  More Walking Dead probably and then just a relaxing night at home.

Coming up in the next few days, its prep time!  Time to do last minute laundry, pack and get things going!!!  I have another scan/bloodwork on Friday and we leave on Saturday!

Naps are Glorious - Day 3 - July 12

I think the theme of this weekend was to relax!  And we were very successful at it!

Brian let me sleep in again and then we went to the Egg & I for breakfast.  While waiting on our food...Brian thought it would be hilarious to do a thumb war.

As you can see, I'm at a complete disadvantage!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't help it I have really short thumbs!!!!!!!!!!!!  Needless to say...I lost.

After brunch we went grocery shopping.  We decided to do some shopping for snacks for Greece at the same time to put in our checked luggage.  Our last time in Europe, nothing looked good to eat at the grocery store.  So we ate the creme filled wafer cracker things.  And now I hate  them.  So Brian thought it was funny to suggest buying some - No.  That didn't happen.  But we did get some other snacks that will last us if we run into the same situation again.

We came home with all intentions to deep clean the house.  While Brian cleaned his gun, I fell asleep on the couch.  He said it would only take 10 minutes and he would wake me up to clean...but he didn't.  I got a 2 hour much needed nap.  Yay!

We ended the night with a trip to Taryn & Andrew's for dinner and game night.  We played Bananagrams and I won, Taryn won and Brian won.  Then we played Name 5 and Andrew kicked all of our butts.

It was a good night.

I did my second injection while we were over there.  Not too many symptoms.  Some pain and then cramping but not as bad as the first time.  The worst thing is the headache.  It's not a full on migraine, its just a dull ache on the right side of my head.  It's annoying and it hasn't gone away since about an hour after my first injection on Saturday.  I just have to keep thinking, bigger picture.  A small headache is definitely worth a baby!

That's it for Day 3.  Only 5 more days until we leave for Greece!

A little relief - Day 2 - July 11

It's not surprising that  I needed a little relief after the stress of day 1.

To start the day out, Brian let me sleep in!  Ah!  So relaxing.

Once we were up and going, Brian mowed the lawn and I worked on homework.  I was able to finish my last Statistics Exam!  Yes!!  The only schoolwork I have left before we leave is my Statistics project which is about 80% done and I'm just waiting on some data to finish that up.  Once its turned in, I will be officially 2/3 done with my Specialists degree!  By this time next year I'll have my 3rd degree in one hand and hopefully a baby in the other!

The rest of the afternoon was pretty laid back, we cleaned a bit, watched some TV, fixed the bed frame and then I took a nap!  Sleep is one thing that seems to be evading me lately.  It's probably all the stress and anxiety but I don't stop naps when I finally feel like I can get some sleep.  A little nap goes a long way.

Brian's parents came over for dinner and we played Blockus.  I'm normally pretty good at the game, but the first round was awesome!  I played all my tiles!!! That's never happened before!! See, everyone else has tiles left and all the red ones are gone!!!! Yeah buddy.

 At 8pm, I did my first injection of follitism!  Ruth told me to pick a time that is later in the evening so that we could have the scans/bloodwork back and make decisions before it was time for the injection.  So we chose 8.  I thought I would have Brian do it but when it came time, I felt like it would be easier if I just did it and had the control.  So I watched the instructional video, loaded the meds into the pen and bam!  First injection done!

The minion bandaids provided by Cassie really do help :)  I didn't have terrible side effects.  I did have some pain after the injection and some cramping after, but nothing too bad.  About an hour later I got a headache but I don't know if that was medicine induced or if it was just a normal headache.  No awful symptoms, so that was great news!

Once our visit with Brian's parents was over, then we stayed up (probably too late) and watched a few episodes of The Walking Dead.  Nothing like some good ole zombie action before bedtime. 

Its was a great Day 2.  Much more relaxing and less stressful than Day 1.  Thank goodness!

Surprise! Day 1 - July 10th

Background Info...

We are going to Greece for our IVF cycle!  Pretty much everything is set up and ready to go.  Our only hiccup was medications that were ordered from the UK and being delivered to the US.  They had been stuck in customs since June 26th and we have been in constant communication to get them cleared and delivered to us ASAP.  IVF cycle starts on the first day of your period - day 1.  Then you do an ultrasound on day 2 and start the injections day 2.  For me, I was predicted to start on Tuesday July 14th.

Day 1

Surprise!  Day 1 came four days early and I started yesterday.   Woke up at 4am and my first thought of the day was FUCK.

So I start sending emails.  I email Ruth (our nurse contact in Greece) to let her know, I email Brandi (our nurse contact in the US) to let her know.  I try to go back to sleep...

Yeah right.  Sleep has been evading me the last few weeks, there is no way I was getting sleep when I was so anxious now.

So as I'm laying there (not sleeping), I think we have two major hurdles.

1.  I still don't have meds, and I'm supposed to start them tomorrow.
2.  Its Friday.  Well shit.  My day 2 scan would have to be on a Saturday.  The clinic here in the US doesn't do scans on the weekends.

Ruth is out of the house (remember they are 8 hours ahead of us) and will write me an order to get the scan done today instead of on day 2 tomorrow.

Then we have to figure out medications - which will turn out to be my demise today.

The first major problem (there's a lot today so fair warning) is that our clinic in the US is really busy today.  Apparently every one needed to see Brandi today.  The second nurse is out on vacation.  Well great.

After many calls and emails, I have an appointment for 1pm (keep in mind that's 9pm in Greece and the doc needs to review my scan before he can tell me how much meds I need to be on).

We are trying to figure out the medication situation at the same time I'm trying to figure out when to get a scan.  I finally hear back from customs and we have been cleared from customs but now our meds have to go to the FDA to get inspected...and that can take 7-10 business days.

I'm sorry???

What?????

7-10 BUSINESS DAYS?????  I'LL ALREADY BE IN GREECE WHEN THEY SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!!! (keep in mind we ordered them on June 22nd).

So it's final - the meds that are in customs are worthless to us.  We won't get them until its way past when we need them.  So the $1200 we send on the meds is gone.  *we might be able to give them to another couple who needs them and get some money back instead of them just sitting in my house useless*

Now we have to get a new prescription for meds that I can get here.

At this point, I go in for my scan at the doc office.  Scan goes fine, I have 20 antral follicles in each ovary.

Time to talk meds with Brandi.  Doc in Greece wants me on Menopur first and then I'll take Centrotide next week based on the scan results in the next few days.

Menopur -

• Option 1 - I can go to a pharmacy in Overland Park and pay $145 a vial.  I need 6 vials to get me through the weekend until I can have some delivered next week.  
• Option 2 - Use Walgreen's specialty pharmacy and get Menopur for $79 a vial and they will FedEx it and I will get it on Saturday (today).  

We decide on option 2.  Since I don't need the Centrotide yet, I'm not so worried about it.  So I'm on the phone with Walgreens.  The total comes to about $1900.  They advise me that I should add Centrotide to the order (since I'll be buying it next week anyways) so that it puts my total over $2000 and qualify for a $200 discount.  

• Brandi puts in the prescription
• I sign up for the discount program
• I leave the doc office with Follitism as a back up...just in case something happens so that I have meds to last me over the weekend.  
• I wait
• I call and see if it's processed so that we can finalize it (pay for it and set up delivery)
• 3 pm - not ready yet
• 4 pm - not ready yet
• Find out that they only have the order for Menopur and not Centrotide 
• Call Brandi
• Oops - forgot the second medication, she sends it in 
• 5 pm - not ready yet 
• 6 pm - Its ready!  
• Just kidding, they only processed the Menopur and didn't see the second prescription for Centrotide.  Have to start the processing over again to be able to get them both tomorrow and still qualify for the discount.  They close at 7pm.  If its not processed by the time they close, I don't get the meds on saturday when I need them to start using. 
• 6:15....I'm freaking out
• 6:30....freaking out more
• 6:45....even more freaking out 
• 6:54....they call!!!  It's ready to go!!!!!!!!!!!!  I give them payment information and delivery will be saturday!  Its all set up.  

I'm all smiles and thankful the day ended on a positive note.  

So at this point, Alex (our house/dog sitter) is hanging out at our place and we are having a dandy ole time.  Brian cooked dinner and all was good.  We had already decided we were going to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I.   

So we go downstairs to watch it and relax...

and we cant' find it.  

anywhere!  The movie has disappeared.  

We decided to go to family video and rent it.  

Nope - they only have Part II. 

Walmart?  

Nope - only the whole blue ray set for $70 

Target? 

Nope - only have Part II 

Best Buy?  

Nope - only have the full set like walmart.  

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

So we do what all logical people do, buy an apple TV and buy the movies off iTunes to watch at home. 

We finally get home and are ready to watch it!  

I check my phone because I had left it at home to charge (all the phone calls today had killed it)....and I have missed calls and voicemails from Walgreens.

• Payment didn't go through.  
• Will not get meds delivered on saturday.  
• There is no way around it. 

FUCK. ME.  

Realize that I gave them the wrong expiration date for the card.  

I cry.  I mean seriously.  What else could go wrong?  

Once I calm down and see the bigger picture, I'm fine.  Brandi gave me the Follitism as a back up.  THANK GOODNESS!!!!  I have meds to take over the weekend to start my cycle!

We all take a deep breath...and watch Harry Potter until 2am.  

What. a. day.  If day 1 was was that crazy, it can only go up from here right????  

Uncertainty. Decisions. Let's do this.

So last post, I gave the overview of our journey with infertility and where we stood.  We left on the note that Brian and I would be waiting a year to go through with the IVF cycle in Greece due to my recent diagnosis with shingles.  We were as okay with that decision as we could be.  To explain recent events...we have to go back in time a bit.  

When I first got my diagnosis with shingles, I emailed our main contact here (the nurse practitioner in our doctors office - named Brandi) and our contact in Greece (Ruth).  I received an email back from Ruth saying that I should be fine to continue on with IVF - yay!  Good news.  I received an automatic reply from Brandi that she was on vacation...for the next two weeks. Bah!  Because we like to cover all of our bases, I called the doctors office here and talked to the other nurse practitioner named Karen.  She wasn't sure about how shingles would effect IVF and so she wanted to talk to others in the office.  They didn't know either.  She talked to the embryologist and he is the one who said MAYBE the shingles could negatively effect the IVF cycle.  His reasoning was that the virus that causes it is in the chicken pox family and if a woman gets chicken pox in their first trimester, the chances of birth defects increases.  Since I have shingles, I could potentially expose the new embryo to the virus and it could have negative effects. 

So since one person said that it could be dangerous - we decided to postpone for a year.  

We are dealing with our decision, we let Ruth/Greece know we aren't coming and its obviously not a good day for us.  I write the previous blog post to help process everything and I feel pretty content that we made the right decision - its just too risky.

Five days after my original blog post.  

Brandi (remember the nurse practitioner from our doctor's office here) is back from vacation and she sees my original email and replies that it should be fine.  Shingles should have no effect. 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  

So. 

Many. 

Mixed. 

Opinions. 

So of course my mind starts working.  I start doing more research.  I again, can't find any that connects shingles and IVF.  I read about shingles.  A lot.  I probably know more about shingles than I ever wanted or needed to know.  Its remnants from the chickenpox virus that I got when I was younger that stayed in my nerve endings and then gets reactivated...normally by stress.  Go figure.  Stress.  Psh.  I'm the least stressed out person alive. :)  So once its reactivated, it stays along a single nerve line and produces a rash with sores that are incredibly painful.  Mine happened to be on my right side extending from my spine to my underarm.  

At this point, most of the people we talk to and the research we find says that shingles don't effect the reproductive organs and it shouldn't be an issue since mine didn't spread past my one nerve line.  Only one doctor has said that MAYBE it could have an effect but there is no research supporting it.  

So Brian and I talk.  We go over the maybes, the what ifs, all the uncertainty.  We try and make a decision - but all of our decisions are normally fact based.  There are no facts to go off of here.  We are worried we are just hearing what we want to hear and not what is right.  But in this scenario - is there a right?  Without the ability to look into the future, how do you know?  *if any of you have some magic crystal ball you'd like to share...now would be the time to point that out to us* :) 

So we have three major questions in our mind.  

1.  What if we go, it works and the baby is perfectly healthy? <---obviously the scenario we want!

2.  What if we go, it doesn't work....was it the shingles or was it really never going to work? 

3.  What if we go, it works, but something happens to the baby?  Would we ever forgive ourselves for being impatient? 

Question 3 is really the hardest to swallow.  What if something happens?  But...science me is thinking the birth defect rate for the chicken pox/1st trimester connection is only 1-2%.  That's really not much.  At all.  Its more than 0%...but still.  

All of this uncertainty and decisions are hard to process. So we contact Ruth (the nurse from Greece) and ask her to talk to the doctors/embryologists there.  They think we should be perfectly fine - no issues.  Okay...remember when we said that none of Brian's sperm were moving last time?? What if that happens again...she replied that again, its no problem.  There are ways around that.  *disclaimer - we don't know for sure what it is, we are still waiting on the test results*

Back and forth. 

What do we do?

Uncertainty.

Lots of questions.

No right answer. 

Time to make a decision.  

Let's do this.  

So - we decide - let's do this.  

There will always be risk.  The majority of doctors (minus one) says that shingles should have no issue.  Is one person's MAYBE worth waiting another whole year??  What if shingles reoccurs next year?? Right now, the timing just feels right to us.  We think this is the right decision for us and we are going to go for it.  

So....

Flights are booked. 

We will be staying with Ruth (the nurse).

Protocol is made. 

Timeline is set.  

We have a house sitter/dog sitter.  

We will be in Greece from July 18th - August 5th.  And if all goes well and it's meant to be - we will come home pregnant!  

We know there is risk.  But there is always risk.  Please keep us in your thoughts, prayers, juju, good vibes or anything else positive! We will keep you updated!